Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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