it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
