Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
