Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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