I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
