No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
