Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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