please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
