I'm lost and stupid without you.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
