Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
