New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
