he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
