There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
