Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize