he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
