I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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