Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Vodka?
Forever.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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