Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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