i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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