i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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