..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
