ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize