I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
