i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
