We're facebook friends in real life
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
