bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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