He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
