I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
