Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
