so explain again why im purple
no
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
