but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
