I don't think brook has ever known best
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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