I bet he comes in French.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
