I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
