Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
