soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
