Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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