I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
