I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize