I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
