Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize