he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
