would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize