i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
