You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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