I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
