He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
