You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
