I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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