No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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