fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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