my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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