U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
