Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and she was petting her beer can
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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