Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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