Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
