Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize