if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She's the barista slut.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
