i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize