what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
