LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
