Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
