Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
