I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize