Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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