We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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