every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
