Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
