Pappa wants mamma naked
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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