the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
