Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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