He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
