Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
