Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
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