So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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