I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize