Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
