He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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